A Southern Belle’s Ten Golden Rules

1) Never serve pink lemonade at your Junior League committee meetings. It has communist undertones.

2) Always wear white when you walk down the aisle (even if it’s for the third time).

3) Never wear white shoes before Easter or after Labor Day. The only exception, of course, is if you’re a bride. Bridesmaids, however, must never wear white shoes. Bridesmaids’ shoes should match the punch.

4) It doesn’t matter if you marry a man who doesn’t know the difference between a shrimp fork and a pickle fork. You can always teach him. Just make sure he can afford to buy you both.

5) Never date your sorority sister’s ex-husband until at least three years after the divorce. You might need her to write your daughter a Kappa Kappa Gamma recommendation one day. Just remember it’s a lot easier to find a new man than it is to get your daughter into Kappa.

6) Never marry a man whose mother and grandmother owned silver plate instead of real silver. He’s not used to quality and he’ll try to cheat you on the divorce settlement.

7) It’s never to soon to write a thank-you note. Some belles take the notes and a pen with them to party. In the middle of the evening they go into the ladies’ room and write a thank-you describing how much they enjoyed the dinner (naming specific items). They then put the note in the mailbox as they leave. The hostess receives it first thing in the morning. Sure this is compulsive, but you’re going to have to be compulsive if you want to be president of the Junior League.

8 ) Never show your bosom before evening and never wear and ankle bracelet before anything. Girls who wear ankle bracelets usually end up twirling batons. There has never been a baton twirler who became Miss America and there’s certainly never been a baton twirler in the Junior League.

9) Never chew gum in public and never smoke on the street.

10) Buy low. Sell high.

       ~ from A Southern Belle Primer

I’d like to think a lot of this is tongue-in-cheek, but unfortunately I’m not so sure. I absolutely believe the Rule about thank-you notes. It’s exaggerated but so true. Thank-you notes are a wonderful thing. Magnolia writes the most beautiful thank-you notes. Not only are they long but they are extremely detailed. She will mention each item you served for supper in such glowing words that you will start to wonder if she meant it to go to someone else. There have been times that I have hardly recognized my own cooking. However, in this world of texting and emails, getting a hand-written thank-you note in the mail is a treat.

I do have one little issue with thank-you notes though. If you have just had a baby, gotten out of the hospital, lost a loved one, or sick enough to need a meal, do you really feel up to writing a thank-you note? I really, really appreciated all the wonderful meals we received after the birth of our children and when I had pneumonia last year and was recovering from a hospital stay and surgery. But none of those times did I feel up to writing a thank-you note. Why can’t a very heartfelt verbal “thank you” be enough? If you’re sick enough (or exhausted from having just brought a new life into the world) to need a meal, you should be excused from having to write a thank-you note. Unfortunately I’m in the minority on this idea, so I’m just going to keep it to myself.

So to everyone that I owe a thank-you note (and I’m sure the number is many), please accept this public acknowledgement of your thoughtfulness and caring. THANK YOU!!!!!!! And please keep in mind that I am still a Belle-in-Training and I’m bound to make some mistakes along the way.

One Response to “southern belle’s ten golden rules”