My friend Jackie, an absolutely hilarious Belle, shared this with me today. It might be a teensy bit exaggerated in spots but overall, it’s right on.  And since it’s my blog and I can do what I want (gotta love a dictatorship!), I’ve added my own personal thoughts.

THINGS I LEARNED IN SOUTH CAROLINA…

1) A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.

~ This is absolutely true. Plus we’ve had more than a few possums at my house over the years that had decided to just move on in. And we do not live out in the country. Fortunately my neighbor has a possum cage so we “relocated” those possums to somewhere else. I didn’t ask where and I didn’t care as long as it wasn’t my house. My son wanted to keep the last one as a pet, but my husband nicely told him that possums are mean and stink. Thanks, Cole!

2) There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in SC.

~ I hate snakes. I don’t care if they are the “good kind” and wish people would stop telling me that. All snakes need to vacate the earth. I think Genesis was pretty clear about how God felt about snakes. I concur.

3) There are 10,000 types of spiders, and all 10,000 of them live in SC.

~ I actually like spiders so I have no problem with us one at all!

4) If it grows, it’ll stick ya. If it crawls, it’ll bite cha.

~ Enough said.

5) “Onced” and “Twiced” are words.

6) It is not a shopping cart, it’s a buggy.

     ~ Doesn’t a buggy just sound more fun? I also love pocketbook instead of purse.  My 4-year old is always going to get her “pocketbook” which is usually an Ariel backpack or something she’s stolen from me.

7) “Jaw-P?” means, “Did y’all go to the bathroom?”

8)  People actually grow and eat okra.

~ When I first moved to Atlanta way back when, someone asked me if I wanted some okra. Sadly, I thought it was some kind of seafood. I guess I had Orka and okra confused. And knowing me, I probably let everyone know that I had thought that. If you haven’t had okra before, make up some fried okra. Yummy!

9) “Fixinto” is one word.

~  Yes, it’s true. Southerners are always fixin’ to do something and right now, I’m fixin’ to look at #10.

10) There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there is supper.

11) Iced tea is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you’re two. We do like a little tea with our sugar.

~ Southerners do drink sweet tea for every meal and with everything all year long. And it’s sweet, sweet, sweet. I used to order a Coke when I was a brand new “newcomer” and people would look at me and say “You ain’t from around here, are you?” In Atlanta, everything is a Coke. They would ask, “What kind of Coke do you want? Pepsi, Coke, Mountain Dew, Dr. Pepper…”   Obviously Coca Cola being headquartered in Atlanta has had a profound effect on the drinking habits of that city.

12) Backwards and forwards means, “I know everythin’  bout you.”

~ Uh oh.

13) The word “jeet” is actually a phrase meaning, “Did you eat?”

14) You don’t have to wear a watch, because it doesn’t matter what time it is. You work until you’re done or it’s too dark to see…

~ Maybe… but I can assure you that I do not subscribe to this theory. I don’t wear a watch but it’s not because I’m working until it’s too dark to see. Now playing is another matter entirely!

15) You don’t PUSH buttons, you MASH em.

~ My husband is also always asking me to “Cut off the lights.”

16) You measure distance in minutes.

17) You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.

~ Today is the perfect example of that. Woke up to 45 degree BRRRRRRR weather and this afternoon, it’s in the high 70’s. And it’s the middle of May which is really unusual for this time of year. But I will say that I have LOVED this Spring. Normally we go from 40 degree days to 90 degree days. We have had absolutely glorious weeks of 70 degree weather this year and I for one am a happy girl about that.

18) All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.

~ Drive around the South and you will see Coon Dog Days, Catfish festival, Rockin’ Ribfest, the Mosquito Festival (I’ll pass on this one), Pigs and Peaches BBQ festival, and any number of small town get togethers. All of these come complete with good food and usually great music. Love it!

19) You know what a “Dawg” is.

~ And this is not the Randy Jackson “Dawg”.

20) You carry jumper cables in your car – for your own car.

21) You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Texas Pete ,Tabasco and ketchup.

22) You find 100 degrees “a bit warm.”

~ Unfortunate but true. Humidity was obviously invented in the South.

23) You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.

24) Going to Walmart is a favorite past time known as “goin’ Walmartin” or “off to Wally World.”

~ I have always refused to patronize Walmart but it does seem to be a popular past time. Along with hittin’ rummage sales. Walmarts have long lines and kind of creepy people. But then a little Walmart (by Walmart standards) opened down from my house… by the Country Club no less. You can imagine the outcry that occured during that planning phase! It’s actually not too bad. I only go if I absolutely do not feel like driving over to the local French store, Target.

25) You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good hog killin’ weather.

~ I describe it as perfect porch-sitting weather, but whatever…

26) Fried catfish is the other white meat.

27) We don’t need no dang Driver’s Ed…  If our mama says we can drive, we can drive dag-nabbit.

~ I’ve always wondered how to spell dag-nabbit. Now if I only knew how to spell that other Southern beauty… dad gummit. It’s the closest thing to a cuss word I’ve ever heard my husband say. He’s one of those Sophisticated Southern Types. Not to mention totally handsome. Yes, I’m a lucky Belle!

Some things I love about the South:  My husband stands up when I leave the table and when I come back.  He opens my car door… every time. My children say “Ma’am”  and “Sir”  out of habit. I can be treated like a lady and it doesn’t mean I’m weak. Strangers invite me to church. And they hold the door for me, even if I’m empty-handed. It only snows a few times a year and then only lasts a day or so before our beautiful weather returns. And if it is going to snow or ice or be ice cold, it’s a several-week worthy news story full of excited anticipation and much grocery shopping. The world is green and blossoming most of the year but we still get to see the beauty of Fall. There are 3 churches on every corner. If you are hurt, sad, have a nasty cold, or your Great Aunt Sally died,  you will end up with more meals than your refrigerator can hold.  People hug. Family traditions and stories are revered and passed down from generation to generation. We eat a lot of deviled eggs, pimento cheese and BBQ.

I could go on and on. I love the South. I love the people here and I love majesty that God saw fit to put here. In my eyes, it is Heaven on earth. I’m so lucky to live here.

3 Responses to “things I learned in South Carolina”