the always… the sometimes… and the just plain silly tips on being a Belle

My sweet instructional mother-in-law, Magnolia, has been busy the past several years training me how to be a Southern Belle. Some of her instructions are very helpful, useful and are things I follow today. Some seem, at least to me, to be very unnecessary, outdated or impossible. Stop by daily for new entries. Most of this is straight from Magnolia’s mouth, but I will take the liberty of throwing other tidbits in as well. Enjoy!

1. Always serve pie with the point facing the guest.

2. Never put the serving spoon in the dish until you are ready to serve the guests. It should lie next to the serving dish.

3. Always make a “practice” plate before your guests arrive so you can be sure that no foods of the same color are next to each other and that it all looks pretty. Honestly… it’s what she told me. I’m assuming this only works for dinner parties where you put the food on the plates yourself and not when the guests are actually serving themselves. I’ll leave it up to you whether you should yell “Don’t put the potatoes next to the bread! They’re both beige!” to your guests if they actually choose to put similar colors next to each other on their plates. Can you imagine?

4.  If you eat every meal by candlelight, no one will be able to see if the food is burnt.

5.  The man you marry should have his own shrimp forks. Her next sentence included the fact that her son had his own shrimp forks. So this may actually not be “normal” advice to a Belle and may have, in fact, just been a way to make her son more desirable to me. I can promise you that he didn’t need any help from her. I was already madly in love.

6.  Never leave your spoon in your bowl when eating ice cream, soup, etc.  Set it down in between bites or just hold it in your hand.

7.  Nothing is more tacky than being tacky.

8.  You should not show your shoulders in church or at other important functions (Michelle Obama is obviously not a Belle in Magnolia’s eyes). I am still not fully trained in this department as I do, on occasion, wear a sleeveless dress to church in the summer. And she will always smile at me and say, “Wouldn’t one of your cute little cardigans just be perfect with that dress?” In other words, COVER YOUR SHOULDERS!

9. Your plate and silverwear should be 1″ from the table edge.

10.  If you want a husband who will carve the meat graciously at the table, never learn how to do it yourself.  If you already know how, play dumb.

11.  Always serve ladies first. Pretty obvious I would think but a reminder can’t hurt.

12. You should always put the roast in front of the man and the vegetables in front of the woman. I’m assuming this is when a husband & wife are both at the table. Magnolia added that a few other dishes may also be in front of him and her such as a frozen fruit salad.  Please refer to #10 for the reason you put the roast in front of the man.

13.  We do not have grey hair. We have strands of wisdom. Love it! Thanks, Donna, for passing that along. My only question… if we cover our “strands of wisdom” with another color, what does that mean? Especially if it’s blonde.

14.  If someone brings you a meal, you should never return the pan/dish empty. And you should always write a thank-you note.

15. Magnolia asked me to add to #4. The other advantages to eating by candlelight: it is romantic and the children behave better. I figure it’s worth a try!

16. You can serve ice cream in a little tea or punch cup. One should eat it with the handle on the left (if one is right-handed) so you can hold the cup steady whilst you eat. I know this because I just got scolded about it. I had the handle on the right. Can you imagine how tacky that was?