Archive for the ‘belle in training’ Category

From the book A Southern Belle Primer:

Fallen Belles

Even belles from the loveliest of Southern families sometimes move away. They go to places like New York, Chicago, or Los Angeles and they get caught up in a world where ladies are called women and nobody wears pantyhose in the summer. Before you know it, these belles start to like the idea of wash-and-wear hair and throwing away their eyeliner. They even open their own car doors and pretend that “red eye” refers to a late-night plane flight and not a gravy that goes with ham.

But there’s something about Southern upbringing that never completely goes away. Here are Ten telltale signs that a girl is truly a belle:

1) She calls the refrigerator the icebox.
2) Even if she’s ninety, she calls her father “Daddy.”
3) She would rather walk down Fifth Avenue naked than wear white shoes before Easter or after Labor Day.
4) She refers to a handbag as a pocketbook.
5) She doesn’t have a couch. She has a sofa.
6) She drinks iced tea in the middle of a blizzard.
7) She will march for women’s rights for twenty miles but she would rather die than walk two feet with a lighted cigarette.
8 ) She dyes her shoes to match her cocktail dress.
9) All her parties have themes.
10) She has a deviled egg plate.

Even though I didn’t grow up in the South, I do have a pocketbook. I don’t open my own car door. I own a deviled egg plate. Yummy! I also use a buggy at the grocery store and my children say “Ma’am?” instead of “What?”. I’ve learned that the S word is something different than I thought it was. You should have seen my face when my little, innocent niece told me, “You just said the “S” word!”. I was new to the family, had not even started my Belle training and we were at my now-niece’s 1st birthday party. I wanted to crawl into the floor in mortification thinking I had said a really naughty word by accident. Thankfully I found out she meant Stupid and not…. well, you know. It can also mean “Shut Up” in certain families.

I am not a fallen belle. I’m not technically a Belle at all. But I’m trying! And every now and then, I will get a look of approval from Magnolia and I will know that each day brings me a little closer to the Promise Land.
~susanne

I first met Magnolia a few weeks after my husband and I started dating. I had no idea at the time what an unusual weekend that would be. My husband has four siblings and lots of nieces and nephews, all of which descended on us over the course of the weekend. Apparently my sweet darling hadn’t brought a girl home in a long time and everyone wanted to check me out. But that’s not really the point of this post…

The first night I met Magnolia, she asked me what my silver pattern was. Being from Michigan and growing up with parents who didn’t really care about those things, I was understandably confused by this question. Now, you’d have to know Magnolia to understand why my silver pattern is something she needs to know the first day she meets me. But she did. The only thing I could think of was Oneida. Yes, I know what you’re thinking…bless my heart. I actually told Magnolia that my silver pattern was Oneida. Being the Belle that she is, she did a great job of covering up her horror. Can you imagine? Her precious son finally brings home a girl to meet them, obviously adores her (I’m adding that in myself), and not only is she a YANKEE but her silver pattern is Oneida! Which really isn’t a silver pattern anyway but it was the only thing that came to my mind. Because of my vast ignorance of silver patterns, I wasn’t really that bothered by the whole exchange but looking back now, I’m sure Magnolia was shocked.

I woke up the next morning, opened the guest room door, and found a darling little book outside my door. There was a section conveniently bookmarked for me. I opened it up to find a whole chapter on what your silver pattern says about you. Oh, word. That was the beginning of my being a Belle In Training. It was quickly becoming apparent that this was no ordinary woman. This was a Belle and a force to be reckoned with.

After attending church and hearing a wonderful sermon from my future father-in-law (I’ll be getting to him soon… THE most amazing man I’ve ever known), we came home to a beautiful Sunday dinner. I noticed that Magnolia had very pretty silver with scallops down the sides and most of it was engraved with the letter “B”. During the dinner, the subject of my silver pattern came up again. I quickly picked up one of my many forks and said “What is this pattern?” Magnolia informed me that it was Strasbourg and from that moment forward, my silver pattern was Strasbourg. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t cross my mind that someone would eventually be getting all that lovely, engraved silver and I decided it might as well be me. And my husband, of course. Plus I really did like it.

I now have 8 place settings of Strasbourg, all courtesy of my in-laws. We received a place setting for birthdays, Christmases and our anniversary until we had a proper set. I don’t use it as often as I should but each piece means a lot to me. And the best news… my silver pattern is no longer Oneida.

Here are some excerpts from The Southern Belle Primer, the book Magnolia left outside my door.

The Twelve Patterns of the Southern Silver Zodiac

1. Francis I Reed and Barton   The Belle who chooses Francis I is a girl who wants it all. There are twenty-eight pieces of fruit just on the knife handle. It’s showy and opulent and so is she. A Francis I girl is likely to want a husband, children, a place on the board of the Junior League, and a full-time career. There is no end to what she can buy in the Francis I pattern. It comes with pickle forks, tomato forks, shrimp forks, lobster forks, grapefruit spoons, dessert spoons, ice cream spoons, even half olive spoons. Francis I girls are always compatible with mothers-in-law who have Grand Baroque or Burgundy. Their styles are similar.

2. Grand Baroque  Wallace International    This is Francis I with roses instead of fruit. Grand Baroque girls also have a sense of the dramatic. But they often also have a literary bent. That’s why you can buy a sterling silver bookmark in the Grand Baroque pattern. Grand Baroque girls often date boys whose families have the Acorn pattern. But they don’t marry them. It’s just a youthful rebellion.

3. Burgundy  Reed and Barton   This is Francis I without the fruit. Burgundy girls tend to be somewhat shy. They have dreams of being splashy, but they just can’t let go. Louisiana girls love Burgundy. It shows up on a lot of tables during Mardi Gras. They do well with friends who have Buttercup. They are not made to feel too competitive.

4. Rose Point  Wallace International   Old-fashioned girls pick this pattern. It’s very popular with girls named Rose. Sentimental mothers who have chosen patterns like Old Master and Eloquence sometimes name their daughters Rose just so they can have a legacy all their own.

5.  Buttercup  Gorham   Belles who choose Buttercup are always cheerful. They even choose the pattern because it’s so uplifting. Buttercup girls have friends with every kind of pattern. They are usually followers rather than leaders, but they are just so upbeat it really doesn’t matter.

6. Chantilly  Gorham  Belles with Chantilly tend to be a bit prissy. They do best with men whose mothers also have Chantilly.  Never put a Chantilly girl with a man whose mother has Francis I or Grand Baroque. They will always be upstaged. Don’t let all that sweetness fool you. Chantilly girls were often fast in high school.

7.  Strasbourg  Gorham  Strasbourg girls are traditionalists and just a bit formal. As good Southern girls, they are entranced with anything that’s festive and use their good silver almost all the time. Southern men love girls who pick Strasbourg because when Strasbourg girls bring out the good silver, they also bring out the good food. They don’t mix well with boys whose mothers have Buttercup. They will both always fight for control.

8.  Acorn  Georg Jensen   Beware of the Acorn girl. This pattern is lovely but foreign (it comes from Denmark). Girls who pick Acorn are rebellious. They march in parades and sometimes have been known to go to colleges in the East and drink beer straight from the can.

9. Old Master  Towle  Old Master girls have spirit but don’t drift too far from tradition. Because of this they are fiercely attached to their family heirlooms. One Texas Belle got thirty place settings of her groom’s grandmother’s Old Master as a wedding gift. When she got a divorce, she took her husband to court over the Old Master and let him keep the Cadillac without a whimper.

10. Eloquence  Lunt  Eloquence girls like nice things. They expect their husbands to provide. They are extremely loyal whether it’s a boyfriend, a best friend, or a pet. Because of this they get along well with more flighty girls who have Francis I or Grand Baroque.

11. Chrysanthemum  Tiffany  These girls have been known to turn up their noses at Francis I girls. They are just as flamboyant and just as demanding. They also usually have a lot more money to spend. Their husbands have to be good providers because they also insist on Tiffany crystal and Tiffany china. This is a relatively new pattern compared to some of the others. Girls with Chrysanthemum sometimes go really wild and live in avant-garde homes. But don’t worry, they still cut the crusts off their tea sandwiches and their daughters always get good recommendations to Kappa, Theta and Pi Phi.

12. Repousse  Kirk  Repousse is one of the oldest silver patterns. These girls often have mothers and grandmothers who also have this pattern. One Charleston woman explains every woman in her family for three generations chose this pattern. Then her son married a woman who didn’t even have a silver pattern. (uh oh) The mother-in-law insisted she pick something out and had relatives fill in the place settings. When the new bride completely bypassed Repousse by calling it “too fussy”, the mother-in-law knew the marriage wouldn’t last. And it didn’t.

So there you have it. Obviously I didn’t make the same mistake of the Repousee girl and I am glad to say that I have been married 10 years… one big happy family…me, my husband, Magnolia and my Strasbourg silver.

Magnolia called today and invited me over for a little visit. We had a delightful and impromptu lunch of pea soup, cheese and assorted veggies. I’ve been trying to explain to the lovely Magnolia about blogs, mine in particular. At first there was some hesitancy about me relaying her advice and wisdom to the world at large. She even mentioned suing me, but I politely (so Belle-like!) told her you can’t really sue someone for telling the truth. Belles have very strong thoughts on certain subjects and will not be pushed around… and that goes for both of us.

Over our mug of pea soup (served in a beautiful white ironstone mug with a sterling silver spoon of course), we discussed the advice she’s given me over the years and how it could help so many others. She vehemently denies ever telling me that you should marry a man that has his own shrimp forks but I did see a little twinkle in her eye, and I’m pretty sure she knows she did. I finally convinced her to actually look at my blog and see what she thinks.

Now, Magnolia has a really, really nice Mac computer. What she doesn’t have is the knowledge to work it. She has finally learned that the picture of the Stamp will somehow get her to her emails but beyond that, Magnolia is a little computer-challenged. But she’s learning! I showed her how to get to Modern Belle and then the waiting began as she started to read.

We reviewed the Belle In Training page that has all of her advice. She gave me a few “suggestions” along the way, and then the most amazing thing happened! I heard her start to giggle. She liked it!!! Then we looked at the other pages and posts including her corn pudding recipe which she wanted me to tell everyone goes perfectly with ham and you must serve ham on Easter. See, Mom, I was listening!

I left Magnolia’s house with a lighter heart. I don’t think she’s going to sue me anymore and she gave me some really wonderful tips to share. Check out the Belle in Training page for her latest which I wrote down word-for-word because the way she phrased it was just too good to change.

I hope all of you have a woman like this in your life. She’s really funny in a tears-in-your-eyes kind of way. She never means to be funny which just makes it all the more funny. She just is. She’s an accomplished cellist, plays the piano and knows a song for almost any topic you can bring up. My children just adore her. She has a way of making even the simplest task fun. She’s beautiful, sophisticated and elegant in just the right way. If you ever have the privilege to meet Magnolia, I have to warn you that she will know everything about you before she lets you go. She has a tremendous gift with people and always makes everyone feel comfortable and wanted. I don’t think you’d ever forget her.

And before I go, I promised I would give out this very crucial piece of advice from Magnolia:

The first and most important thing to remember about being a Southern Belle is kindness. Be kind. And never contradict your mother-in-law in front of other people.

Even though she probably didn’t intend it this way, I feel very honored that her most important piece of advice involves her little ole daughter-in-law. She’s my teacher in the arts of being Southern, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Love you, Mom!

Check out our new Belle in Training page for Magnolia’s (my mother-in-law and a lovely Southern Belle if there ever was one) wisdom, tips and advice on being a true Southern Belle.

I was just sitting here, missing my sweetheart and thought about these scriptures from Ruth.

For whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God. Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the LORD do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me.

I know Ruth was not speaking these words to her husband, but they do resonate soundly toward a spouse. I normally don’t read the King James version, but these words do not sound nearly as lovely in any other translation. One trait I truly admire about a Belle is her sense of loyalty and these words are nothing if not loyal.

I also love Ruth because of Orpah… well not technically because of Orpah but because Oprah’s mom named her after Orpah but spelled it wrong. I just think that’s hilarious! Poor Orpah. Her name could have rung through the annals of media if not for a woman that just can’t spell. Another reason I really dislike poor spelling. Magnolia does not approve of the word Hate or I would have used it here instead of dislike.

And for more of Magnolia’s wisdom, check out our upcoming page: Belle In Training which will feature all of her advice, wisdom and knowledge about being a true Southern Belle. Of all the women I know, she exemplifies true “Belledom” better than anyone!!

And now here’s a shout out to my sweetheart… miss you, Honey!!!